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If dog is man’s best friend, why would he eat his best friend’s sofa?

His wall. His socks. Lots of socks. The good leather shoes. A frisbee. His m to-do list. His daughter’s…er…undergarments. The firewood. Baseballs. The “Receive” mat. Plastic bags.

A bird.

Surely the only character traits of a growing puppy are not his teething and eating habits, but they do project out at the moment, and are worth discussing.

Ever since this one particular day, I knew our lives would never be the same. It was perhaps the unsurpassed omnivore moment. While riding in the car with my son one day, Chester cruised in the back seat, checking out the lady canines probably.

“Hey, John, have you seen my Bluetooth?”

“I think Chester has it,” he said.

“Why do you intend that?” I asked.

“Because there’s a blue light in his mouth,” he said.

Sob.

The swarm of ingested items is already longer than Tim Tebow’s Twitter follower beadroll, and we are only seven months into ownership. At this rate, he’ll make Jaws look like he was on a hungriness strike that summer.

Source: newjerseynewsroom.com

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