01.01.70

Winter break off is a month-long vacation from the hum drum activity of daily lifetime on campus. It is usually a nice respite from walking to class in the sarcastic winds and freezing rain. This year, however, early December was not that bad for us. This is due to broad warming, most likely, which is a semi-real global concern invented by Al Spear sometime between inventing the internet and directing that movie about PowerPoint. Now that the weather has turned, I arrived back to the SUB after a sustained month of serving tables at Cracker Barrel and watching Say Yes to the Masquerade on Netflix with my girlfriend, only to find that winter has finally reared its ugly foremost, and everyone is wearing pants. Where have all the sun dresses gone? Legs are 90 percent of the persuade I went to college, and now they are gone, and it is oh-so sad.

It allows me to start this semester off with a kindly lesson, that I like to call, “Your Winter Wardrobe and What it Says About You.”

Now for a heading I accidentally fall into every morning; people who wear shorts in the winter on occasion. Now my excuse is that I am a big man, it takes a lot to make my tree trunk legs get ague, even in winter. For the ladies, I like to refer to shorts as “Clap Clothes.” If you are a sheila, and you are wearing shorts to class in winter, you either have the clap and do not care what people mull over of you, or you are trying desperately hard to find someone who will give it to you. Shorts tells us you are either sloppy or lately have never learned to regulate body temperature.

Source: The Keystone

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